The pharmaceutical behemoth Bayer is under fire for safety concerns over its top selling drugs, Yaz and Yasmin.

You may have seen the commercials: a less weathered version of Sex and the City enjoying a night on the town thanks to a mood-altering figure-enhancing wonder drug that not only protects against the p word (pregnancy), but also combats premenstrual depression, acne, weight gain and the fear of dying alone.

But according to recent reports, the Yaz franchise, like a lame boyfriend, makes promises it can't keep. A whole slew of non-Bayer affiliated research is coming out, claiming that Yaz and Yasmin are in fact NOT the new black; rather, these drugs are believed to increase women’s risk for blood clots, strokes and other cardiovascular health problems.

Furthermore, the company has already been hit with 74 lawsuits, brought on by crazy, irrational, PMS-y women charging that they developed health problems after taking Yaz or Yasmin.

While Bayer plans to stand behind the safety of its sister drugs in court, industry analysts say that the crimson wave of criticism could soil the company’s image like a pair of peri-pubescent panties.

Man, if we can’t trust pharmaceutical companies, who can we trust?